Friday, March 13, 2009 @ 11:53 AM * A fun day in school, and my true feelings
Yesterday was like the most fun day in school in January-March. We were training 4 sports day and stayed bac from 1.00-3.45p.m. wooow, right? We took regular breaks and went barefooted. MUAHAHAHHAA!Then me and Renise went to see Zechariah perform in the fitness corner. I didnt wear any shoes nor socks, so i was barefooted. They said it was hot there, but I didnt think so and didnt really tot bout it.
At the fitness corner, e sun was blazing like mad. I jumped around hopelessly, and my feet burnt. Jiejie Renise piggyback me until I 2 heavy lia0. Then put me down, ARGH!!! so hot!! Then Zacky pulled me to the shade. Wooow, was I thankful. But I hate him for smth. HE HELD MY WRIST!!!
I expect he didnt think, but I STILL HATE HIM!
Then he did his tricks and Renise, THANKFULLY piggybacked my back. PHEW.
I'll never forget this day for as long as I live, and I'll never forgive ZACKY for as long as I live.
JIEJIE RENISE, here's a message for you. :)
Dear Renise,
You don't know what I felt when you called me ur mei. Last time, I tink I was jus another gal in Charity class, and u had nth 2 do with me. I always wanted to be ur fren and sammie's and everybody's [not including boys, OBVIOUSLY.] fwen.
But I failed. I was jus another normal little gal.
I felt really happy tt I was finally somewhat 'ACCEPTED' in ur eyes. [haha, I didnt really know how 2 express :)] The idea of joining ur renise and olivia KOOBOO language was jus a sudden attack of envy. I regreted tt I had lied to Yu Kee when she asked me if I had wanted to join them. I said no, when my heart was dying to say yes. [SORRIE, YU KEE! I HOPE YOU WOULD FORGIVE ME, BUT I WOULDNT BLAME YOU IF YOU DONT... :( Im a lying fwen, so pls dont treat me as 1 if u dont 1na...]
I wanted so much to fit in, I didnt want to stand out. Like Camp Rock, they said 'Dont fit in, STAND OUT'. But I was the EXACT OPPOSITE.
I want to be normal, not the centre of attention. I want to be loved as a frien, not despised. I just want to let everybody know tt sometimes Im wierd bcoz I want so much to be fwens with u all. I'm juz a wierdo tt has lost my own feelings.
I cant keep pretending, as fwens like u the way u are. But Im afraid everybody would hate my feelings, my style, my everything. I know that if I keep it going, I would lose all my fwens, everything. But, for now, I had already lost my identity. I do not know who I am anymore.
I jus want 2 fit in, be part of the group, 2 be normal, tts all.
Thanks for reading everybody,
And last of all,
Thanks, Renise,
Abigail, [who accepted me] Yu Kee, [who listened to what I felt] Sammie, [for being a rold model] Renise, [for being my fwen] and all the gals in my class except
Raidah, Andrea, Yi Jie, Ser Yun, Yun Bin, Han Young... etc.
-Crystal